Men 101

Men are a lesson learned that's all. Men are complicated even though they say they are simple. Men are difficult even though they say they are easy. Men are annoying even when they say we are. When men are single they wish to be married, when men are married they wish they were single. Men are not anything like dogs...dogs are loyal and are happy when you stroke them. Men will cut the grass just to look at the grASS next door. If men can't have it they want it more. The more we do for men the less they do for us. Men are just like boys they always need toys but are scared of ours. Men always need to be in control except when it comes to their penis and stomach then they need us to feed their appetites. Men are intelligent creatures and invent so many different things but fail to put the toilet seat down... Why is this still happening?? Men and women can not be friends because something always pops up in the middle. Men are men and we need to figure them out. I don't want to really, it gives me a headache.

The Last Straw

So we've all heard this expression "that's the last straw". Is it really last draw or straw?? I've heard, "that's the straw that broke the camel's back". Well anyway, I think it is the last straw so that's what I'm going to use. This is very true in fact and never realized it until today. This summer has been full of surprises for me as some of you know my boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years. Which was the blind date that would never end I do have to admit. I can't remember the last time I even had sex. Wait... I can nevermind it just wasn't that good that's all. I was screwed on an apartment, really don't even want to get into that mess. Went to court for that already and won. My year end lease was up on my pretty nice Mazda 6 and because of the "economy" let's say, I'm without a car for the time being this did not upset me, well not too much really. Went to Fuccillo Kia got hit on by a cute married man, I liked it. But felt it was very, very wrong, bad karma. Then today of all days my XX is getting married. That's right! I mean why wouldn't he get married before ME he has four kids from four different baby mamas. I'm baby mama number 2 he has 2 more after me. Even when baby mama #3 texted me today to remind me all of this I did not lose it. I stayed strong and laughed it off. Besides it was supposed to rain anyway and my daughter threw up twice already at the salon pre-wedding. No this was not the clincher. Besides I still have my ring for when I was supposed to marry him and I made the right choice. I went grocery shopping and while I'm mulling over pears and mangos I'm happily texting my friends. Until I get home. As I'm unloading the produce I noticed leakage, not just any leakage Strawberry leakage. Uh-Oh. So I quickly grabbed a paper towel and let them do their leakage on that. Then it was then noticed by the warden, my mother. "Why do you buy rotten fruit"? She said, who looks like Ray Romano's mother. You know who I mean. As if I purposely thought to buy it. Oh here's some rotten fruit let me get that.
This was THE LAST STRAW! Yup here comes the tears and more tears and the wailing. OMG. Just stop it already. That's it I needed to get outta here. So I went and got a pedicure. AAAHHH. Much better. Better than sex, well not really but if I keep telling myself that maybe I'll forget about it. Right? Right? Captain Morgan? But my toes look adorable and they lived happily ever after together. The End ....
I'm so glad everything worked out for a happy ending, I think that's the drinks talking. CHEERS.